28-year-old demands girlfriend earning ten times less than him goes 50/50 on $4200 a month apartment: I'd have maybe $500 left over for [the] car payment, student loans, savings, personal stuff'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 25, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Money is one of the most important things to agree on in a serious relationship. It doesn't matter how you feel about one another otherwise; if you can't get on the same page about how you are going to manage your finances together, you are setting yourselves up to fail. A big part of building a life together is knowing that both of you can afford it.

However, that doesn't stop many couples from having disagreements on how they manage money, and specifically who pays for what. This is easier to figure out in some relationships than others, where partners have similar salaries, or one person is happy to cover most of the expenses. When disparities in incomes and attitudes are involved, though, there can be painful revelations that maybe a love isn't meant to be after all. A person's feelings about relationship finances mean a lot more than the bills that need paying.

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  • a couple sitting in a window of a coffee shop, the man drinking coffee and the woman eating a sandwich
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a young woman struggled with the fact that her boyfriend wanted her to go 50/50 on renting an apartment that was expensive enough to take a large portion of her salary every month. She was a teacher, and he worked in tech, earning ten times what she did at work. 

    She tried to explain to him that she didn't think it was feasible for her to spend this much money, but her boyfriend insisted that he didn't want to subsidize her “life choices”. With him showing no sign of wanting to reach a compromise, she wanted to know if her protests were unreasonable.

  • AITAH for not wanting to split rent equally with my boyfriend who makes 10x more than me?

    So me (24F) and my boyfriend (28M) have been together for 2 years and we're moving in together next month. Here's the thing - I make about $35k as a teacher and he makes around $350k in tech. When we started talking about finances, he suggested we split everything 50/50 including rent, utilities, groceries, etc.
    via KiddinglyIdle
  • The apartment we're looking at costs $4200/month which means I'd be paying $2100. That's literally more than half my take-home pay just for rent. Meanwhile for him it's like pocket change. I brought up maybe doing proportional splits based on income but he said that's "not fair" because we're both getting equal benefit from the apartment.
    via KiddinglyIdle
  • closeup of a woman sitting on a couch, holding a tissue in one hand and looking in an empty wallet with the other
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I tried explaining that I'd have maybe $500 left over each month for everything else - car payment, student loans, savings, personal stuff. He said I should just "budget better" or find a higher paying job. Like bro I'm already working summers and tutoring on weekends.
    via KiddinglyIdle
  • His argument is that he worked hard to get where he is and shouldn't have to subsidize my "life choices" (apparently being a teacher is a life choice now). He also said if I can't afford to live the lifestyle he wants then maybe we're not compatible. That one really stung. I'm starting to think this isn't really about money but about him viewing us as equals in this relationship.
    via KiddinglyIdle
  • We've been going in circles about this for weeks and I'm honestly questioning if we should even move in together. AITAH for wanting proportional rent splits or should I just suck it up and find a way to make 50/50 work
    via KiddinglyIdle
  • the open plan living, dining, and kitchen area in a modern apartment
    via Melrose By The Lake

  • Outsiders felt that the relationship wasn't working.

    Working_Concern2001 Leave him. He will get worse
    via Working_Concern2001
  • United-Manner20 Absolutely do not move in with him and cut your losses now. You do not wanna be with somebody making literally 10 times more than you who isn't even willing to do a 7030 split. You're not being unreasonable, but he needs to find somebody with an equal income. If he wants to split 50-50, then it can go based on your budget, not his.
    via United-Manner20
  • PotatoMonster20 NTA A 50/50 split CAN work. But only if all of the expenses are based on what YOU can afford. Not him. So it should be cheap enough that it easily fits your budget.
    via PotatoMonster20
  • Basically the kind of place you're living in now. It doesn't seem like he's willing to "lower himself" to your level though. So I'd just break up with him. You'll run your finances ragged trying to keep up with a jerk like that.
    via PotatoMonster20
  • Queasy-Trash8292 Nope. Do not move in. Do not pass go. You've reached the point where you discovered that you are not compatible with an asshole. No person that loved you would put you in that type of financial position. How would he expect you to save money or enjoy life, at all? He's gross. You're awesome for realizing it before moving in. Find a roomie or two who aren't on the crazy selfish train.
    via Queasy-Trash8292
  • gggram1212 NTA HE IS. Don't move in with him. Stay where you are. He expects you to live on $500/mo after rent??? WTF. Basically he'll be vacationing without you bc you wouldn't be able to afford it, etc. isn't he special... ugh.
    via gggram1212
  • mes905 He already told you that you aren't compatible. You aren't compatible. There is no future in this relationship. End it now and do not move in together.
    via mes905
  • dheffe01 NTA, do not move in with him into this apartment under this arrangement. Find an apartment that within your budget that you would move into with him and send him that. or try to compromise on 25% if this is the apartment he picked. If you picked the apartment and tried to get him to subsidise 90% of the expenses... then thats on you.
    via dheffe01
  • havalinaaa When I moved in with a partner with uneven finances and they suggested a 50/50 split I showed them the apartments | could afford half of and they changed their mind immediately. They also apologized for the lack of thinking it through and it was never an issue again. I would consider most any other reaction a giant red flag. Not an immediate one for suggesting it but if they aren't able to see the issue after asking them the look again it's a no.
    via havalinaaa
  • didthefabrictear Nope. Nope nope nope. Proportional is the only way this is fair. He made a choice to date an early career teacher. He knows full well that 'higher paid job' and 'just budget better' are bullshit things when teaching is like any other service profession – woefully underpaid.
    via didthefabrictear
  • Do not sign a lease for a $50K per year apartment with this man. Its going to suck every cent you earn which is then going to create an unhealthy power imbalance. He knew what your job was and what you'd make when he started dating you. 50/50 is unreasonable on a $350K/$35K salary split.
    via didthefabrictear

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